The sad broadcasts of gum chewing, ill-mannered, unintelligible interviews with athletes are far too common. We should be bothered and disturbed when we witness a 300 lb. twenty something year-old athlete who can barely articulate a sentence with correct grammar while being interviewed on national television. Instead, we allow the media to work its magic and divert our attention to the numbers on the scoreboard and video clips of the athlete's outstanding physical abilities. There is life after sports right? Coaches and agents are not the only ones at fault. As fans, we freely bestow the title of "role model" on those athletes who are publicly rude and shamelessly promiscuous. One week of bad press? Not to worry because the very next week, to ensure our social event boasts coveted invitations, we reward these same athletes with a begging bid to attend our private shindig. And we honestly don't care if he or she speaks like a 3rd grader - we just want em to "show up" and smile nice for the society page photos.
Are athletes exempt from showing decorum and some sense when being interviewed? For the professionals, shouldn’t this be part of their job? When watching certain athletes being interviewed, I can’t help but wonder whether a coach, friend, or agent bothered to offer simple pointers on interview do's and don'ts. There are some interviews that are down right embarrasing! Some are soon taken off the internet because they are so shameful. I don't care how cute, handsome, or talented you are – every athlete should be coached on how to present a positve image when being interviewed! Is the sporting arena the one community where basic social competency is not expected? From what I've seen there are many reasons to believe that the standard for public appearances by an athlete is that there is no standard.
We are guilty of helping to create "social monsters" when we purchase game tickets that translate into fat checks for athletes who exhibit a poor social profile. We sanction their actions when we don’t insist on consequences for inappropriate behavior and on education for those with deficient social skills. We should encourage scouts and coaches to utilize "social skills appraisals" as part of their interview process right along with physical ability. This means contracts include an investment to develop physical skills as well as core social skills – both necessary for functional successes that will serve an athlete long after the reporters are gone. The “coach of the year” titles should be awarded to those coaches who go the extra mile and spends the extra dollars to develop the “whole” athlete in every athlete.
I miss the days when it was common to see a man open the door for a lady, when ladies dressed pretty (or should I say less "slutty"), and when neighbors were more neighborly. I look at my son and for him I miss the freedom to laugh, run, and play in the streets without fear. Let's keep it real - even a gated community won't keep a pedophile or thug out. I miss the days when social courtesies were common. Today, I'm likely to have a man rush past me and bogart the cab I flagged down, let the elevator door slam in my face, witness teen girls scream vulgar tirades that would embarrass a sailor, and hear radio and tv ads on sex run just in time to entertain latch-key minors.
Why are we so impatient? We are too busy to be polite, we sure don't teach it, and we even have the audacity to frown at someone who dares to make a public scene of correction. To make matters worse, each generation adds to the accepting display of public rudeness. We have allowed ourselves to become too far removed from our "old school" foundation of respectable social demeanor. Why do we feel the need to take on every social cause except the cause to protest public displays of rude and inappropriate behavior?
We need to revisit the basics and we need to do it quickly. And we need to begin in our own homes...
There is a lot of buzz about upcoming elections and everyone seems to have an opinion they want heard. Problem is, we tend to forget common basic courtesies when convinced that our views are undermined or worse, not heard. When you find yourself with an audience and the opportunity to express your thoughts, there are 3 very important courtesies to remember. If you want to be respected, even from those who disagree, commit these courtesies to practice and your long term memory:
A simple Thank You goes a very long way...
Why is it so difficult for people to express 2 simple words; Thank You? Growing up, we were indoctrinated early on the importance of a simple thank you. Not only was my mother always giving someone a gift, she was also a huge thank you person; said you could never express it enough for a kind deed. And mom’s thank you was quick, not weeks or months after the fact. I have come across my share of thankless people and have decided that they do not deserve a repeat performance. I mean really, do we honestly feel that important, that busy, that consumed with whatever, that they not only miss the value in saying a proper thanks, but are that unappreciative?
I am sure some would argue it’s not that people aren’t grateful, they just forget… Well how about us considerate, thoughtful, giving people just forget your birthday, or your kid’s birthday, or your wedding, promotion, anniversary, or your kid’s graduation gift? And for those of you who chose to chirp and say one shouldn’t focus on the recipient’s actions but rather on giving from the heart, bologna! If I take my time, energy, and my money to select a gift just for you, that is giving from the heart and then, I want a simple thank you. You don’t have to publish it or announce it to the world, just acknowledge appreciation.
Grown folk are not the only culprits of this la la attitude. Who do children learn their manners from…? Hellooooo! Teach your children to say thank you. When my son receives a birthday gift or is recognized with a gift for any reason, he understands that he is to express a verbal thank you as well as write a simple thank you note. He just turned 13 and understands this has been a house rule for years - you can't wait until they are 17 to begin teaching good manners. Hopefully this courtesy will follow him throughout his personal and professional adult life.
If you are fortunate enough to be the beneficiary of a gift or kind deed, remember to go out of your way to express a humble “thank you” and let's teach our children to do the same.
Tragedy and loss can move us to action like nothing else, even when we'd rather not get involved. Loss can temporarily if not permanently remove walls of bigotry, jealousies, and hurtful offenses that divide families and friends. A mother has to bury her eleven year old child, a husband pains over his wife with Alzheimer's, a child witnesses a beloved parent take their last breath after a long illness, a good friend dies suddenly; all heavy losses that give rise to acts of kindness otherwise not extended.
A few weeks before my mothers' courageous fight with breast cancer ended, one of her close friends appeared at the front door early one morning. When I opened the door, she just stood there, quiet and petite, holding what appeared to be bags of groceries with her young son behind her also weighed down. I stood there speechless, looking at her and her looking at me, and me wondering if in that instant she knew how grateful I was. She moved gently past me and quietly began to make the kitchen her command post. Silent tears confirmed there was no need to exchange words.
When you know someone is in pain, it's time to lay aside personal hurt and anger, and allow the spirit of benevolence to move you to compassion. Immaturity will have you show kindness only to those people you "like". If you are not on good terms with someone in pain, send a card, give money, take food, drinks, send flowers - at least offer assistance - even if it means being turned away. Because one day, if you haven't already, you will suffer the pain, sadness, and loneliness that comes from loss, and hopefully you will experience the comfort that comes from the benevolent hearts of others.
Kindness is what sustains us all.
Please take a minute to watch this awesome video!
Traditionally, holidays involve family and friends getting together and celebrating relationships. I can't believe it's already that time of the year! Some of you are probably thinking with great trepidation about how you have "got to go and do the "fam" duty thing" and how glad you'll be when it's over!
Well, believe it or not it is possible to have a tolerable family visit if you plan in advance to enjoy it. Let this be the holiday where you really give thanks for having another day, another opportunity, to make things right between family and friends. Even if you are not the "host," let this be that holiday where you go out of your way to make sure those around you are comfortable and happy. Look carefully (you won't have to look far) and you will witness plenty of pain, sadness, and heartache. We can unknowingly add to someone's personal pain by the words we use. Ignore that urge to point a finger at someone else as being the root of family feuds and instead commit to taking the low road; no need to pit words against words. I know you have it in you, dig deeper and go the extra mile with a little more patience. Make certain you are not the one guilty of hurtful and inconsiderate behavior. Do I need to say remember your manners? Below I've created a short list of simple courtesies that can help even the most inflexible personality make a tolerable impression.
Share this list with family and friends and challenge everyone to agree to present their mature best. Here we go:
It's your surprise birthday party. It's the annual family Christmas gathering. It's the office
party. All eyes are on you. It's your turn to open a gift. The big reveal is total disappointment because it's something you would not select for yourself even if it were free! It's not your style, size, color, or you already have two of the same in a box in your garage!
So what's the proper response when you get something you don't want? You kindly say "thank you" and express how much you appreciate being thought of. Try not to focus on how much you don't like the gift but rather on appreciating the gesture of having your name on their shopping list. Recycling a gift (also known as re-gifting) is especially common on Christmas when we do a lot of giving. Remember, no one has to spend their hard earned dollars on an ingrate. Don't get me wrong, no need to fake a love connection with the gift but you do need to show gratitude for the thought. Later, you can exchange the gift for an item you do like and if that's not an option, recycle the gift by donating it to a local cause or share with someone you think could use it.
Have you ever had a kid roll their eyes and turn their head as if to give you "the finger"? Have you ever had a child "curse you out" with such ease you'd swear they were an alien from another planet? I have met some of the most beautiful children only to find them brutally annoying because of their bad behavior. Have you ever witnessed a parent who seemed to be in a complete "daze" while their little darlings were literally destroying store property or trashing your home right in front of them?
For the life of me I don't know what zone a parent feels privy to escape to at a time when they should be telling their sweet brats to STOP. Unruly, incorrigible, bad, (whatever you want to call the little darlings) are typically the result of parents who need much more than parenting classes. If you don't train your children at home (which involves rules and discipline) and follow through with consequences for disruptive and disobedient behavior, you can expect very public and very embarrassing performances and we will all look at you and wonder what is wrong with you, the parent...
Welcome back! It's a new year and already pointing to the end of the first month! So how are you doing with those New Year resolutions? Made any promises you have no intention of keeping? Or perhaps you're struggling with the notion that there is nothing you could possibly do different that would make this year better than the last. Have you basically predestined yourself to misery for the next 12 months?
Well I would like to remind you that at some point on this time-side of life, we all have moments when we feel as if we are living in the dark with no light in sight. And sometimes things get so bad we feel like we are living a Freddy Kruger nightmare. Then comes a moment when we believe God himself has deserted us and we feel ourselves hanging by a thin thread. These are the days we need to reach deep to a place unfamiliar to find strength. Because it is there.
Every day, unbeknown to us, we encounter someone who is hanging by a thread with a hope and faith that has waned thin. But a warm smile, a courteous hello, or a simple compliment may be that one thing needed to help them reach a little deeper, hold on a little longer. And if you take an honest moment, as I did, I'd wager that you could come up with the name of at least one person who unknowingly helped you during a dark moment. It's a new year, find a way to say thank you...
And keep your promise to yourself to have a better year...
Is it ok to chew gum in public? For some people it should be against the law. When I see someone smacking and cracking gum and talking all at the same time I wonder if they know they look like a cow. I cringe when I see an athlete, celebrity, (or anyone) being interviewed or appearing as a guest on a television show or local event, and they are chewing gum. This looks bad, is poor etiquette, and means that someone's manager, family or friend dropped the ball by not telling them to trash the gum.
And it's not just athletes and celebrities - walk the streets, take the train, or visit the mall and you will have plenty of exposure to gum chomping patrons. Do people really just not know that it's poor manners to chew gum in public? Did you know that it is frowned upon in some cultures and even against the law in some countries to chew gum in public? Growing up, we rarely saw our grandmother chew gum. My mother did so around the house but seldom in public. It was considered a treat when my siblings and I were allowed to have a piece of juicy fruit and most of the time it was a half of stick! This may sound gross but not knowing when we would get our next gum treat, we went as far as "saving" our gum for the next day's chew by hiding it as opposed to throwing it away. You'll be happy to know we quickly grew out of that nasty habit!
If you must chew, chew gum at home, not in public like a cow. If you must chew gum while in public to refresh your breath or medicinal reasons, do so discreetly then discard when possible. If you are being interviewed in person or appearing as a guest on a show, discard the gum beforehand. If in a small private setting with only family and friends, I don't see that the same rules of chewing gum apply as long as you chew with your mouth closed, we don't hear the popping and smacking, and we don't see the gum going in and out of your mouth. If it's just you and the walls, chew and smack and pop gum all you want!
I love hot flavored coffee with flavored cream! My (fast food) favorite is Starbucks Caramel Macchiato and McDonald's Caramel Mocha with Dunkin Donuts Caramel Latte a close second. (McDonald's is easier on the calories and wallet). At home, I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Even if I don't drink any, the smell of fresh coffee can be therapeutic...
But, if I am in the office with coworkers or out with friends, smelling heavy coffee breath is not so pleasant. Soooo, if you are a heavy coffee drinker (especially one who prefers it cream-less combined with a dry cigarette), please grab a mint, gum, or something to freshen your breath before you have a face-to-face with someone. (A quick drink of water may even do the trick!) I assure you, this courtesy will be greatly appreciated by every person you talk with that day!
There is a news story about a wealthy banker who insulted a waitress by leaving a 1% tip for a $133 tab and, left a note addressed to the waitress saying she needed to "get a real job." How condescending, ugly, and just plain rude! It never ceases to amaze me how there are those who think of themselves to be so much more important and entitled than most. I truly hope they post that bankers name on public blast so he can kindly learn that he is not as important as he obviously thinks he is. Wouldn't you love to know what bank that jerk works for!
Read the story from Yahoo News http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/banker-insulting-tip-incites-class-warfare-between-1-164624882.html
Beliefs may vary from faith to faith but there are without question, certain courtesies that are shared irregardless of where and to whom we worship.
Let's consider Promptness: I am bemused by those who are reliably late yet feel compelled to usher themselves down the isle to find seating at the front of a service. Is it their dress, hair style, or a new suit they feel all should see or just plain thoughtlessness? If you are late, your preferred seating choice should be those closest to the door you came through. Otherwise, you disturb the rest of us and we could care less about your new hair style.
Let's consider Dress: Now there are those who say "come as you are" because they are just happy to have you attend. Really? While this may pose a surface sincerity (because all is well as long as you don't sit next to them), I beg to differ on the idea itself. You see over the years, on those many occasions I've been privy to diverse company, I have learned that when it comes to matters of church attendence, most people understand appropriate dress. I am not refering to blue jeans vs. a suit and tie, but rather plunging necklines, thigh-high hemlines, form fitting dresses, and the gym clothes that have become so common in the pews. Why is it that we readily accept and honor the dress code and tee times of a golf course, dinner reservations and dress code of restaurants, and respect employer policies on dress and punctuality, but give our church presence such negligent consideration? Humm, I think some of us are just too lazy to care and others just push the envelope because they feel they can. Sadly, too many church leaders and administrators won't address such matters of disrespect because they either want to appear hip and inclusive, have no backbone, or simply don't want to rock any boats that may challenge their paycheck.
My we do have it backwards...
I was asked recently to chaperon a teen birthday party and was excited to do so. In my wildest imaginings however, I was not prepared for what I would observe at a "supervised" teen party. But before I get into those surprising details, let me first say that this party was held at a nice venue, attendees were 15-17 yr. olds who had responded to invitations, food and drinks minus alcohol was served, and at least half of the 50+ teens had been dropped off by a parent or other adult. As for details, let’s begin with dress. I would guess that 99% of the girls wore a dress which in length was mid-thigh or shorter. And did I mention the dresses were body hugging and form fitting? There was plenty of make-up and 4 to 5 inch heels that accompanied the counterfeit “I am mature” attitudes. The guys were pretty much “unmentionables” except for those “popular” few with equally pretentious confidences.
Not sure where I've been or if I’m just considered “out of the loop”, old fashioned, or both but when the music started I was caught a bit off guard by the bumpin and grindin called dancing! For those of you who don't know what this is I have included a link below to school you. And did I tell you there were insistent requests to turn all lights off? As a chaperon I did not agree with this request and did not hesitate to say so - we compromised with low lights from an adjoining room. Into the evening our attention was drawn to a crowd that had gathered in a corner of the dance floor. Closer inspection revealed the birthday girl seated in a chair, circled by her guests, with one of the boys standing over her gyrating his crotch area over her crotch area! Need I say this was quickly disbanded! There was obviously no shame in knowing this girl’s mother was in the room! If these kids felt it ok to conduct themselves in such a loose manner in the presence of adults and their peers, I could not help but wonder what they would do when alone in the dark, with no one watching?
Yes there is such a thing as courtesy in the bathroom - lots of courtesies. Have you ever visited
someone's home and needed to use their restroom? Once inside did you want to turn around and go back out deciding you could wait after all until you got home?
At an early age both my children were very particular about bathrooms. Some time ago when visiting friends, my daughter who was about 4 or 5, asked to use the restroom. Wanting to make sure she was ok with reaching the sink I went with her. She looked around and said "mommy I think I can wait until we get home." She did not like the way the toilet looked and would not sit on it. I have been in bathrooms where I too decided to wait until I returned home. If you know you have guests coming, know that it is considered a social courtesy to have a clean bathroom. If your children have their own bathrooms, make sure they know how to clean it and let them know you will check it often. This will minimize bad bathroom habits and teach them how to leave a bathroom when visiting friends and family.
The Sink. Is dried toothpaste and hair in the sink only visible to certain people? I am always amazed at how the one place in the house where you are supposed to get clean, ends up the dirtiest. And is it really necessary to have every toiletry item you own on the counter?
The Toilet. Guys, if at all possible, us ladies would be forever grateful if you would work on your "aim". Otherwise, a few stray sprinkles on the rim of the toilet, roll down the sides of the toilet and eventually make it to the floor. A nasty build up from this and you have a bathroom that smells like "pee."
The Bathtub. Ok who wants to get into a dirty bathtub? Who wants to shower or bathe on top of someone else's dirt? Growing up, we had to clean the bath tub every single time we used it. Cleaning it later or the next day was never an option.
The Mirror. I do not understand how one can go into the bathroom and be oblivious to a mirror covered with water stains? Can you really see through the toothpaste splatter?
The Floor. Crude along the baseboards, dirt, grime, hair, and empty containers on the floor is pure laziness. How can you step out of the shower and feel clean in a dirty bathroom?
The Smell. Add a fresh scent deodorizer for a pleasant smell in your bathroom. It may also help if you emptied the wastebasket often.
Your bathroom should be a un-cluttered, welcoming, and - not just for guests but for you to enjoy. And size has nothing to do with this - small bathrooms can be cute and clean also. Out of respect for those who will come behind you, clean the bathroom after each personal use. And one more thing...if the door is closed politely knock before entering.
This summer, my son attended a robotics camp at a local university where he was privy to interact
with a diverse group of like-minded 8th grade students. The second day of camp, I picked him up and eagerly listened as he, full of excitement, began to tell me about all the cool things he was learning at camp. Then suddenly, after a brief swallow and quick breath, he switched gears and said "mom these kids have such nice manners!" I tried to hide my totally happy yes-it's-working look and instead matter-of-factly shared that I was glad to know that the other students had good manners. Not a second passed though when I could not resist (even though he went on to change the subject) - I had to ask "what do you mean by good manners?" Of course he used limited speech and simply said, "You know, like being polite..." Humm I wondered, how often do we underestimate our children?
Even at 13, I am constantly reminding my son of basic social courtesies such as "don't talk with food in your mouth, say excuse me, don't interrupt," etc. His default response is always "I know mom." And of course I often wonder whether he has heard a word I said. But I have to gloat a little and share with you that I am very proud of how well-mannered my son truly is. Over the years and even now I continue to hear from teachers, neighbors, and total strangers on how respectful and polite he is. We cannot afford to ignore the value in teaching social competence and to insist on common courtesies in our own homes.
Kids do notice good manners...
An honest to goodness friend is a rarity. (I personally try not to use the word loosely.) I feel blessed and honored to have a few really cool, truly amazing friends - male and female, single and married. They are my 5-finger friends. You know, the kind you can call on in the middle of the night and they come to your aid without questions or judgmental comments. A good friend is there when you really need them and without penalty even though you did not bother to answer their text messages, phone calls, or emails. They show up to help even though you did not have the nerve to call. They don't have an attitude when you do call and don't question your selfish motives because they understand your "moment."
We all go through trying times and find ourselves needing to call on a friend for help. To bail us out of a pinch, to babysit, house sit, keep a secret, listen to us cry, or some one-of-a kind favor. I was guilty of this one day when I called a friend I thought would help with a personal matter. My friend politely told me "you only call when you need something." She was right. I was at a point in my life where I was very needy - lots of receiving and very little giving. I did not call to say hi how are you or make myself available to anyone - too wrapped up in my own tiny world of problems. But time passes and the perpetual calendar has a way of making you give thought to all things and all people you hold dear. Such a day came for me when I began to revisit my own definition of friendship and questioned my own worthiness of having someone consider me their friend. Hence my motivation for writing a post on friendship courtesies...
Don't make the mistake of taking people for granted - make time for friends. A quick call to say hi, a card to say happy birthday, a text to say have a great day, or even an email to say thanks for being my friend will only take a few minutes to send but remembered for years with priceless appreciation.
I have always been awestruck by a man in a suit. Even the most physically unattractive man captures the room when he swags in with a fine fitted suit. Now of course the suit does not make the man a gentleman but the combination definitely brings the wow factor!
I was rushing for the elevator one day recently when I noticed a young man already there waiting. As the elevator doors opened I waited for him thinking he would rush in but he did not. He politely nodded and motioned for me to enter first so I politely nodded and said thank you. I was pleasantly surprised! When I realized we were both getting off at the lobby level I wondered if his courtesy would be short-lived. To my surprise again he waited for me to exit. I could not stop myself from saying "what a gentleman, thank you." He smiled shyly and went on his way. He could not have been more than in his early 20's which made the experience even more pleasant.
I grew up around gentleman - men who were gracious and courteous. To me it was normal to see men open doors for my mother and men like my grandfather always preferring my grandmother. These men were lions in every other aspect of their lives but when it came to their families, especially the women, they were the epitome of graciousness. Even the guys I dated (way back when) stood out because of their good manners. Of course there was always the rough edge every now and then but for the most part guys opened doors, carried your heavy stuff, washed your car, held your hand, stroked your female ego by entertaining you with a sweetness that often consisted of flowers and little thoughtful surprises. I once worked in a downtown metropolitan area where it was common to see a guy rushing across streets through Friday afternoon traffic with a pretty bouquet of flowers. I would always think “what a lucky girl..."
Fast forward… Men rush past women to get through a closing door, ignore female co-workers struggling with a heavy box, and rudely rush a date to get in the car after she's taken the time to dress up really nice after a long day at work. And what about the guy who won’t hesitate to compliment a female on television, but never offers a flattering comment to his own girlfriend. Or perhaps you hit the jackpot and won the husband who gives thoughtful consideration to everything and everyone but conveniently "forgets" his manners when it comes to his wife.
Ladies, don't allow yourself to become accepting of anything less than respect and courteous behavior from the men in your life whether it's at home, at work, or socially. A true gentleman is always a gentleman. At least this is what I am teaching my son…
Life is a theater - Invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships!
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which one encourages and which one discourage? Which ones are on a path of going downhill?
When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love, and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the back of your life. You cannot change the people around you...you can change the people you are around!
Remember...not everyone deserves a front row seat in your life!
(I came across this while doing research online from a 2005 chat and had to share (with minor edits) and hope you do the same...)
Regardless of how well we plan for optimum order, our lives seem to run non-stop in the fast lane.
As a result, we can easily forget the small things. Like saying thank you to our children. I loose count when I think of how often I've been rushing and have asked my son (in a hurried and anxious voice), to help me with my phone because it's not working right, or to get this out of the car for me, or run upstairs for my purse... Now he may move a little slower than I'd like him to but he typically responds without a complaint. I do manage however, to always say thank you. It lets him know I appreciate his help.
Children are not our slaves to do the mundane things we don't want to do and they are not our personal couriers to run at our beck and call when they too have had a long, tiring day. Don't take advantage of your children simply because your are tired and because you are in charge. If you ask them to do something for you, let them know how much you appreciate their help. Say a kind thank you (always) and of course, a "just because" treat every now and then would make them feel valued and respected, and eager to help again!
When I think of a gossiper I think of someone who constantly shares negative personal information of others. Have you ever known a person that seemed to know something about everyone? If so you may want to avoid sharing with them lest you be added to their collected stories told to anyone giving an audience to their gossips. Problem is, their recall is usually shared with a twist to make their stories short of sensational to any eager listener. Gossipers seem to have similar characteristics: They usually have drama-filled lives, low self-satisfaction with their own world, and are big "dreamers" who are unwilling to do the work. How do you handle a gossiper? You ask them to kindly dump their toxins elsewhere.
Have you ever been laid up and had well-wishing visitors come by and you secretly wished they
had stayed away? Well here are my favorite tips on how not to be that annoying visitor:
So the next time you visit someone recovering from a surgery or illness, or terminally ill, take a moment, ask questions if you must, and take a thoughtful gift. At minimum, a nice card is always a kind gesture.
Ok, so the hottest ticket, (especially for social introverts) is to post, text, post, and text some more! Whether it’s a Facebook, Instagram, Text or Twitter message, people are obsessed with social media. I am sure we all know someone who prefers their solitude yet spends hours on Facebook because it opens up a world of relationships they would otherwise not have.
Social media allows one to “hide” while discreetly sanctioning, among many things, immoral, inappropriate, and even dangerous liaisons that can threaten the sanctity of their home life, work ethic, and community involvement. Social media allows us to even venture away from reality where we must cope with real issues, and instead occupy a counterfeit existence at the stroke of a finger…
Where do I begin? Let's start this time with parents who drive through the carpool/car rider line. Mom, dad, will you please ask little Miss Princess and Mr. Prince to pick up the pace, grab that book bag, lunch bag, instrument, gym bag, and whatever else all that stuff is that takes forever to unload, and move it
along at a faster pace? Some of us do have to go to work…
On more than one occasion I have sat stuck behind a car where it seemed like 10 kids fell out of the doors and each one had to sloooooowly reach bag inside the vehicle to retrieve gear, and then walk to the rear to pull another dozen items out of the trunk. Meanwhile, mom distracts school personnel (who are desperately trying to move the cars along) with a "gotta know now question," and then takes 5 minutes to give good bye instructions to each kid who in turn walks in a slow, snail-paced daze across the parking lot. Meanwhile, I've booted my kid out of the car, read the newspaper, and taken a 10 minute nap before I'm waved the "ok to
proceed" signal from school staff.
I love the car rider line...
We all know one; the co-worker, family member, or the good friend that you love dearly but who have awful dining and table manners. They stuff their mouth and talk while chewing, leave nasty napkins on the table while eating, and reach gruffly across you to grab that last roll. They never wipe their mouth while eating so you sit across from them trying to ignore the red sauce on the corner of their mouth. They tease the waitress with corny comments and never leave a decent tip.
I was having dinner with a teen once when I heard this annoying screeching sound. I looked up and watched as he put his fork in his mouth, bit down on it, and then pulled it out by wiping it clean with his teeth! When asked why he did this he said he didn’t want to put his mouth on a fork someone else had used. I am also reminded of a time when I was at a dinner meeting and a co-worker ordered ribs. He sat there during the entire meal slurping the sauce off the meat, licking his fingers (and I mean licking every finger not once, but 2 to 3 times to make sure it was clean), talking while chewing, and licking greasy lips. You know how bank tellers are supposed to have this secret button they can push to signal help from police? I’m thinking restaurant tables should have a similar signal for the bad table manners police…
My son recently told me about a school cafeteria incident where a kid was talking with food in his mouth when suddenly a spit ball of food flew out of his mouth and landed in the lunch plate of a boy sitting directly across from him! Needless to say the kid was embarrassed while nearby witnesses moaned with disgust at the sight. Practicing good table manners is necessary and should be presented to our children as non-negotiable required behavior.
Unpleasant table and dining manners are a major turn off and can be a huge deal breaker on a date, a business meeting, or when eating with friends. Learn the basics, and use common sense.