The Table Slob...

We all know one; the co-worker, family member, or the good friend that you love dearly but who have awful dining and table manners. They stuff their mouth and talk while chewing, leave nasty napkins on the table while eating, and reach gruffly across you to grab that last roll. They never wipe their mouth while eating so you sit across from them trying to ignore the red sauce on the corner of their mouth. They tease the waitress with corny comments and never leave a decent tip.

I was having dinner with a teen once when I heard this annoying screeching sound. I looked up and watched as he put his fork in his mouth, bit down on it, and then pulled it out by wiping it clean with his teeth! When asked why he did this he said he didn’t want to put his mouth on a fork someone else had used. I am also reminded of a time when I was at a dinner meeting and a co-worker ordered ribs. He sat there during the entire meal slurping the sauce off the meat, licking his fingers (and I mean licking every finger not once, but 2 to 3 times to make sure it was clean), talking while chewing, and licking greasy lips. You know how bank tellers are supposed to have this secret button they can push to signal help from police? I’m thinking restaurant tables should have a similar signal for the bad table manners police…

My son recently told me about a school cafeteria incident where a kid was talking with food in his mouth when suddenly a spit ball of food flew out of his mouth and landed in the lunch plate of a boy sitting directly across from him! Needless to say the kid was embarrassed while nearby witnesses moaned with disgust at the sight. Practicing good table manners is necessary and should be presented to our children as non-negotiable required behavior. 


Unpleasant table and dining manners are a major turn off and can be a huge deal breaker on a date, a business meeting, or when eating with friends.  Learn the basics, and use common sense.

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